Here are the two messages I received from a one Matt Richards, followed by my response. (This has not been edited for grammatical errors) If you are wondering who Matt Richards is, he is one of the guys from Something More that betrayed me and kicked me out.
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Hey Ben,
Just wanted to get reconnected with you man. I was sitting at work thinking about you and wondering how you are doing and thought that I would see if I could find you on facebook. I'm glad that I found you but I read your latest blog on your myspace page and I am really sad that you are, from what I can see, still upset about things. I would be foolish to think that I am NOT one of the 'two guys in particular'.
I truly just wanted to find you to add you as a friend and didn't really intend on saying all of this, but here goes.....
I'm sorry that you can't let things go man. I don't say that out of spite, I truly am sorry. You are still very much a friend to me. I hope that I am a friend of yours, but if I am not, then I hope that you can find a way to accept and forgive me someday. I hold no animosity towards that fact that you are still upset. I truly come to you with an extended hand for friendship and although I won't apologize for the decision that was made, I will say that I am sorry that you have taken it so personally. Know that it was NOT a fun decision to make. It's never a FUN thing to ask a friend to no longer be a part of something.
I know what it's like to be asked to step down from playing in a group, but to this day I am still friends with every member of the band that asked me to leave. I am friends with them because I know it wasn't about me as a person, but me as a player. I just didn't fit. And that was OK. I hope you can one day see things the way that I have seen them. Maybe one day we can actually play together again. If you have a facebook page, I would love to add you as a friend.
I wish you only God's absolute best and I hope this new project you've got going is everything you hope it will be.
With Utmost Sincerity,
Matt
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Hey dude,
I guess that you declined my friend request. I'm sorry you're still upset man. I feel like we could still be pals and such but I can't force you to be my friend. I hope you can let it go someday man. I'll always be willing to accept any friend request you send my way. I'm playin' with some guys through a producer in Nashville and it could very well take us through St. Louis. I'd love to look you up if I come through that way. Heck, if you get this project of yours going, I'd be willing to help with connections if I can. Hope to hear from you someday man.
Peace,
Matt
P.S. It feels good to let go, I hope you will some day......
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Yes Matthew,
I declined your friend request. It doesn't mean I am denying friendship forever, just not now. You are a bright young lad with loads of potential, but you need to learn to apologize. I have worked in retail/customer support long enough to know a back-handed apology when I see one. "I'm sorry that you feel that way" is the biggest boo-boo you could've possibly put in your pathetic, failed attempt at reconciliation. "I'm sorry that you can't let things go" is just one of the many shining jewels you so eloquently laid out in your message. I'm sorry that I took it so personally when my two best friends stabbed me in the back and kicked me out of something I started and invited you to be a part of. I didn't mean to move all the way across the state, putting myself into great financial difficulty, moving away from family and friends to a hustling, bustling urban metropolitan area of a town down there. I'm sorry I wasted five months of your time.
In another blossoming example of poetic brilliance, "it wasn't about you as a person, but as a player." Thank for you downtrodding on my musical abilities and artistic credibility. I guess I should've seen right through that farce music degree of mine. I'm so glad to hear you are doing well, and that you have maintained your credibility by playing in a pre-teen pop star's band. After all those hours spent discussing musical appreciation and how one should "play what is in their heart", you had me almost convinced. Now you have helped me come to the truth that I should sell out to whichever record label or producer pays me the most. After I was told that night in my freezing apartment that it was because "it's no longer fun making music with you", I figured that I am a boring individual who repels artistic collaboration. But now to find out it was not about me as a person but rather a player, my eyes have been opened to the truth. And let me tell you, it is glorious. Thank you so much.
And finally, you sound very passionate about resolving this whole issue. I'm glad it only took you 22 months to send a lousy email to make amends for this great travesty. I thought if we were truly still friends, like you said we would be, that I would maybe get something sooner. Like maybe in the three months of lonely despair I endured in Bolivar before transferring back to the STL. You didn't magically loose my phone number or forget where I lived. You made a conscious decision to leave me alone. And THAT is what I am still bitter for. You might still be friends with old band mates of yours, but I have a feeling you had a desire to be friends with them and pursued friendship. But you instead, chose the path of isolation, detachment, and exile. Shame on you Matthew, shame.
Unless you purposefully deleted my number out of your phone, you know how to contact me. Should your new endeavor bring you to the STL, give me a holler and we can catch up on old times. I'd love to show you this great little coffee and donut shop around the corner, when you learn to apology appropriately.
Rock-N-Rule,
Ben
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I'm a little hot under the collar right now.
