Saturday, May 22, 2010

My Contributions to the Wikipedia Page on Water Which are Continuously Deleted

* Water is clear up close but looks blue from far away. Scientists are still puzzled by why we cannot see the entire contents of the ocean just by standing on the beach.
* Oil and chemical companies also use the ocean to store toxic waste. No one cares because fish do not vote.
* Water can destroy books and computers thereby proving that information is dirty.
* Many people in Africa and the middle east have never seen water but are instead forced to drink mud out of necessity.
* The human body is 2/3 water which means that, in a pinch, you could drink a person.
* Water is great to have around at a birthday party, either in many small cups or a single large pool.
* It is also a crucial component in wet t-shirts contest where judges select the wettest t-shirt and then squeeze the winning t-shirt into a bowl.
* The Atlantic ocean is home to the Titanic, a ship which was practically hacked in half by a glacier and then eaten by the ocean. Water is a dangerous enemy.
* Because water is itself a liquid you cannot dry it off.
* Many creatures live exclusively in water because they are afraid to come out and fight us on land. If they did, we would kick their asses and don’t you forget it...you flopping around fish.