If skinny jeans could talk

If skinny jeans could talk, they’d be reciting Pablo Neruda or rejecting the novelty of the cyber-realist genre. Since skinny jeans can’t talk, they’re just clinging to people, in a tight circle of clove-smoking know-it-alls, who argue that they liked, then loved, then hated Bon Iver – all before anyone else had ever heard of the group. You might sometimes want to strangle hipsters with their own vintage scarves, but these modern beatniks are not as brusquely contrarian as they seem. They are unusually informed, perceptive and honest. So it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take one with you when you go to buy a used car.