I love to camp. I love being out in the woods away from technology and people in general, though, we often see and meet some rather interesting characters out there. My accountability group of guys also enjoys nature and just hanging out with other guys in the woods. We call it "man-camping". We make fires without matches or lighters. We take long hikes and pretend we're nature photograhers for National Geographic or something like that. We make off-color jokes and aren't embarrassed by our own farts. We have some of the best male bonding time of the entire year. The other guys all have wives or girlfriends, so it's nice to get away from females for a weekend and light things on fire and have man-talk around the campfire. At least once a year though, we have to invite the women along for a float trip or something casual. Not saying that our man-camping isn't casual, but when there are no women, we take much longer hikes and reserve the "basic" campsites (no electricity, water, or flush toilets); real manly men style. We all like it better that way.
All of that brings us to this. We are planning the annual spring man-camping weekend. The wives had said that they want to do a girls weekend too, so they might do it the same weekend, which makes sense that they do their thing while we do ours. So I picked out the best possible date that would work with most of us guys, picked out a campground, and started making preparations. Then today I heard that the girls want to have their weekend at the same campground at which we are camping, mainly because they are too lazy to research campgrounds on their own, or they don't know what to look for. Not cool. They claim it will be separate and they won't interfere and will leave us alone. Somehow I don't believe them. Mainly because I don't have any faith whatsoever in their camping abilities. I guess I just don't want to hear "we can't get the fire started. We can't put the tent up. We are incapable of taking care of ourselves in the woods. Blah blah blah." That's why we only take the girls in the summer when it's hot enough that we're too heat exhausted to complain and we spend most of our time in the river. We took the women on a polar bear camping trip in November, and they wanted to leave less than 12 hours after they got there because they didn't think, nor did they prepare for 20 degree weather, and didn't pack warm clothes, hot food, or enough blankets. The reason we don't bring them is because they are city slickers who just complain too much in the woods. We want to get away with our buddies and just have fun being guys without having to cater to their wife's needs or feelings.
These guys are my best friends and their wives are awesome; I'm not dissing them at all. I love that they are married to my friends and that they're happy together. But their wives are always there. They are always a couple. I know they are married and will be "a couple" until they die. But as the only single friend, I don't like it when I'm the third, fifth, seventh, or even ninth wheel. I don't like being reminded that I'm alone. Shit, I don't like being "the single guy" at the restaurant, when the waitress asks how the bill is being split. I don't like it one bit. I don't like being in "the friend zone" with my attractive, available, female friends either, but that's another blog entry altogether. I don't like having to sit in the recliner by myself because the couples get the couch, love-seat, and futon. So the thought of asking if the women can be just over the hill or on the other side of a grove of trees on man-camping weekend offends me for purely selfish reasons. I need time with my guys without their old ball and chain. It's just three days. Three fucking days! Is that too much to ask? I submit that it is not.
One day when I'm married, I might have a different perspective. But right now the world revolves around me. Why? Because I'm single.
